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Gene’s Grinders

2125 Wright Ave # C6, La Verne, CA

(as always, you can read the overview of this “project” here)

A sandwich shop in walking distance? Sure, and if you follow the currently defunct railroad tracks, you shorten a little of that distance and get to feel a little Stand By Me. So today we tried, for the first time, our closest local sandwich shoppe, Gene’s Grinders, tucked into the same industrial park that houses La Verne Brewing, right across the street from El Merendero (see entry #14).

This Gene’s Grinders, “homemade since 1989,” is not to be confused with the Gene’s Grinders in Monrovia, in operation since 1954. Is there a reason their name is the same? We wanted to know but weren’t in position to ask the very overwhelmed cashier as she was taking counter orders, answering the lunch rush phone, and bagging up to-go orders while two other customers hovered far too breathily two feet behind us. Yay.

This Gene’s menu options include, in addition to grinders (“submarines” is their menu term) and, in a separate category, mere sandwiches, the following (all presented here as they are on the menu): burgers; mexican; asian; grilled fish plate; wrap; breakfast plate; breakfast omelette plate; breakfast burrito; breakfast sandwich; soup; breakfast side; salad; and deep fried. Deep fried! Given this ample variety, you might worry that the Gene’s Grinders’ editorial grinder eye might be a little wandery. Your worry would be well founded.

When we sincerely ask of a sandwich place, Is this better than Subway?, it’s not a great sign. We ordered the submarine iterations of the Philly Cheesesteak ($8.18 and “best in the west coast,” lol) and the Turkey Avocado ($8.38). The bread for each sandwich was fine—nothing bad, nothing notable—but the ingredients were quite sad. The cheesesteak/onion/provolone were absolutely bland, a sign of both poor quality ingredients and indifferent grilling. The turkey…well, it was a little on the slimy side. So that.

One nice takeaway: the Turkey Avocado’s overall taste was actually pretty good … simply because combing avocado, tomato, shredded lettuce, and oil and vinegar on reasonable bread should always be a win. While we’re happy to forever stay off the railroad tracks that lead to a sad La Verne culinary triangle, we’re keen to see how two humble sandwich elements, shredded lettuce and oil and vinegar, play out on the rest of our summer sandwiches.

Overall Balance/Taste: -1 points
Quality of Ingredients: -2
Bread: 0
Integrity: 0
X-factor: menu variety: -1

Overall: -4 points, or bologna & mayo on Wonder bread

The Sand Witch

Sunday May 23: 1208 W 9th St, Upland, CA

(you can read the overview of our “project” here)

The Sand Witch is—wait for it!—a witch-themed sandwich shop. Is this an imaginative leap? No! Do they at least lean into the theme? They do. The interior has a variety of witchy tchotchkes, and the menu boils and bubbles (sorry) with sandwich names like the Black Cat, the Coven, and the Crystal Meatball. They even offer a Cobb Webb salad. Funny?

After asking for recommendations, we ordered the Coven ($9.75), a panini with peppered turkey, bacon, pepperjack, shredded lettuce, tomato, avocado & ranch on sourdough, and the Warlock ($9.75), a roast beef, bacon, cheddar, tomato, and horseradish mayo on a French roll. The Coven was a mess (-1) which we half-expected: the lettuce, ranch, and avocado became a bit of a miasma that thoroughly sogged the bread. Did it taste good? It tasted fine (0 points). The Warlock was a bit better: full integrity, and the roast beef was on point, the tomatoes and cheese slices were fine, and the horseradish mayo was good if inconsistently applied. The bread for each sandwich, supplied by neighboring Queen’s Baking Company, was solid (no points gained, no points lost; we suspect Queen’s other breads, such as the jalapeno cheddar, bring bigger game).

Let’s talk about the bacon. Here is our first Summer of Sandwich observation: bacon doesn’t belong on sandwiches. (Come at us.) Here, the bacon—by itself fine—totally killed its Warlock master, and it didn’t help the Coven cast much of a spell on us, either. A simple question to ask of any sandwich: would this be better with less ingredients? With these two sandwiches, the answer is a bewitching absolutely. If we return to The Sand Witch, we’d probably just go the build-our-own route—the ingredients are good, but the sandwiches up and down the menu are far too busy. One less eye of newt, friends, and your spells might just entrance us.

Overall Balance/Taste: -1
Quality of Ingredients: +1
Bread: +1
Integrity: -1
X-factor: Witchiness!: 0

Overall: 0 points, or your standard PB&J

No. 7 seed Arizona defeats No. 6 seed BYU, advances to Elite Eight to face familiar foe

Arizona's Zeke Nnaji, DePaul's Paul Reed declare for NBA draft ... — *Zeke Nnaji leads the way again*

March 27, 2020

LOS ANGELES, Ca. – After unlikely occurrences in their first- and second-round games, Arizona players and coaches might have even been more pleased with what didn’t happen on the Staples Center court Friday night than they were with what did.

“Just basketball,” said Arizona coach Sean Miller.

Riding key three-point shooting and another great game by freshman forward Zeke Nnaji, Arizona used an inside-out attack to take an early lead against BYU, one they wouldn’t relinquish the rest of the night, winning by a final score of 72-61.

“We were up early,” said point guard Nico Mannion. “Coach says not to let up. We didn’t. We shot well, played well.”

“Solid game,” said fellow guard Josh Green, who added, “Maybe a little boring after those last two.”

The game began slowly, as neither Arizona nor BYU was able to score on their first three possessions, despite several wide-open looks. Consecutive BYU three-point misses, both taken by former Arizona guard Alex Barcello, led to long rebounds that Mannion was able to push into transition opportunities, and both he and Arizona forward Stone Gettings each made a three-point basket.

After the game, Barcello, who shot 1 of 8 from the field, was despondent. “I’m disappointed,” he admitted. “You always want to have a good night against your former team.”

Here's the lucky charm that led Alex Barcello to a career-shooting ... — *Barcello playing basketball!*

“Alex is a great kid. He did fine. He’s made the most of his opportunity here,” said BYU coach Mark Pope. “Tonight just wasn’t our night.”

BYU, one the nation’s best three-point shooting teams, ended the game 12 of 42 from behind the three-point line. Arizona also shot with low efficiency from three-point range, going 9 of 28, but fared far better on the interior, led by Nnaji.

After the two early three-pointers by his teammates, Nnaji scored on three consecutive positions despite facing an aggressive BYU double-team.

“San Diego State was a little more physical than these guys,” Nnaji said. “This game was a little lighter.”

Nnaji finished with game highs of 24 points and 13 rebounds.

“Because they’re so white,” he added.

By the under-16 timeout, Arizona led 14-3. The game was essentially even after that, as the gap between the teams never grew larger than 15 and never closer than 9.

Gettings said, “You get to thinking that something interesting is going to happen. The unexpected, when it happens enough times, becomes the expected. Which is a strange phenomenon. But then it doesn’t happen, and since you’re expecting it, the nothing that happens instead is sort of a letdown. Who knows what’s going to happen Sunday. Nothing? Something? It’s weird anymore.”

He smiled. “But I mean, I’m glad we won.”

“Just basketball,” said Arizona coach Sean Miller.

UP NEXT

Arizona plays No. 4 seed Oregon on Sunday in Los Angeles in the Midwest Regional finals.

No. 7 seed Arizona weathers blow, then rides defense and fans to upset of No. 2 seed San Diego State

Image result for chase jeter charge — *Did both Jeters pictured here play in this game?*

March 21, 2020

SACRAMENTO, Ca. – Sometimes it takes a body blow to wake a team up. Sometimes it takes a concerted effort from its fans.

If you get both? Chances are, you’re moving on.

“That’s two. Four more to go,” said Arizona coach Sean Miller. “But we take each game one game at a time, so one more to go, and so on, four times. If we do this thing of one at a time for four more times, for a total of six times, it’s this one, this time, that will stay with us for all of time.”

Early on, San Diego State looked like the same veteran team that had gone undefeated until late February, bullying the younger Arizona squad while racing out to a sixteen-point lead.

“Malachi Flynn is real good,” Nico Mannion said of his point guard counterpart, the Mountain West Player of the Year. “He’s probably one of, what, a dozen guards who’s played pretty well against me this year.”

For much of the first half, San Diego State used its size and strength to out-rebound and generally out-tough Arizona. Junior Flynn hounded Mannion with full-court defense, turning Mannion over four times. Fellow junior guard Jordan Shakel made four three-pointers in the opening minutes to help shoot the team to an early lead.

Then Matt Mitchell, San Diego State’s bruising junior power forward, took over.

“He’s a beast,” Arizona forward Zeke Nnaji said. “A mean one.”

Image result for san diego state basketball mitchell — *San Diego State’s Mike Mitchell*

Mitchell collected two early fouls on Nnaji, converting both into three-point plays and sending the talented freshman to the bench for the rest of the half. When Coach Miller countered by subbing in seven-foot Christian Koloko, Mitchell continued to have his way, showing off an array of low-post moves en route to a game-high fourteen point first half.

“We knew going in we were stronger than them,” Mitchell said. “Just not, you know, that much stronger.”

The game turned when Coach Miller called on a player who had, of late, fallen out of his rotation: fifth-year forward Chase Jeter.

“We’re going to have to re-spell his name for the statue they’ll put up,” Arizona coach Sean Miller said. “It should be Charge Jeter, not Chase. He might be remembered in Tucson now.”

Image result for dylan smith bloody — *Dylan Smith looking on as EMTs try to revive his teammate.*

Following Arizona’s season-high fourteenth first-half turnover, this on a drive into traffic by guard Dylan Smith that ended with Smith face-planting into Mitchell’s chest, bloodying Smith’s nose, San Diego State rushed out in transition. After Flynn made a nifty open-court spin around Arizona defender Josh Green, only one obstacle remained in his path: Jeter.

“Chase really liked taking charges,” Arizona guard Josh Green said.

Flynn made a no-look pass to an in-stride Mitchell, who rose up for the dunk. Jeter, awaiting Flynn in the hopes of taking a charge, never saw Mitchell coming.

“After that point,” Miller said, “I was impressed with our team. They focused, put forth the right energy. They really got back into the game.”

“Yeah, the Jeter death,” San Diego State coach Brian Dutcher said. “That was a big play. I mean the crowd got ornery, it felt more like a road game. We missed a lot of easy open shots in the second half. You could say it was the fans. You could say it was their defense. Guilt at killing one of their players, maybe, sure.”

His players agreed. “Really hostile in the second half,” said Flynn. “Especially when they did the, ‘U of A, U of A,’ whatever letters they were saying.”

After the Jeter play, the Arizona fan contingent, seated primarily behind San Diego State’s second half offensive basket, became loud hecklers, jeering at the San Diego State players and waving certain items of distraction during free throws, including unflattering fat-head faces of disturbed-looking men and even the iconic face of the global economy.

KJ Feagin, San Diego State’s senior reserve guard, was repeatedly serenaded as “Recalled Mayor,” a nod to former Sacramento mayor and Phoenix Sun point guard Kevin Johnson. Feagin shot 1-6 from the free throw line in the second half.

“It gets to you,” he said. “The energy was weird in there.”

San Diego State senior center Yanni Wetzel turned the ball over four times.

“I know it rhymes with pretzel,” he said. “I’m not stupid.”

Each time Shakel touched the ball, Arizona fans chanted in gravelly voices the name “Missus Torrance,” a fusing of the guard’s hometown and Shelley Duvall’s role as the wife in the 1980 film The Shining. Shakel said it impacted him. “I mean, I shot six airballs. That’s weird. I’m not saying a ghost was out there blocking shots, but….”

Hearing this comment, Mannion laughed. “Nah, Ghost Chase wouldn’t block nothing, he’d just keep taking charges.”

San Diego State’s first half star Mitchell also had a second half to forget: after shooting 87% from the line this season, he missed three consecutive front-ends of one-and-ones late in the second half. He said that the crowd also got to him.

“They say ‘nice shot, buddy,’ but they’re lying. It ain’t a nice shot, and I ain’t their buddy.”

In the game’s final ten minutes, Arizona outscored San Diego State 33-6, coasting to a 12-point victory, the final margin being 81-69. Overall, it was a team effort for Arizona, as five players scored more than 14 points: Green, who led the way with 18, Smith and Mannion and forward Stone Gettings with 16, and fourteen each for Nnaji and reserve guard Jamarl Baker.

“We hung in there,” Miller said. “To lose a player with the caliber of Chase while still going on to win a game like this—it might cause mixed feelings, sure, but I think it’s the right mix of feelings for this one. But this one is just this one. We’ll see what happens in the next one.”

UP NEXT

Arizona plays No. 6 seed BYU on Friday in Los Angeles in the first game of the Midwest Regional semi-finals.

March Madness 2020: First Round, 7-seed Arizona Wildcats vs. 10-seed Texas Tech Red Raiders

No. 7 seed Arizona squeaks past No. 10 seed Texas Tech 70-69 behind familiar freshmen trio—and one surprise contributor

March 19, 2020

SACRAMENTO, Ca. – In the opening game of the Midwest Regional, it was a battle of big versus small—and, finally, the littlest guy of all came through.

Led by Zeke Nnaji and his talented fellow freshmen, Arizona charged out to a twenty-point first half lead. But Texas Tech went small-ball in the second-half, coming all the way back to take a 69-67 lead with nineteen seconds left.

“I told the players not to give up, to never give up,” Arizona coach Sean Miller said. “The social distancing measures maybe helped a little on that last play—but it was more about our guy showing to everyone that we have the heart of a champion.”

That player was grad transfer Max Hazzard, the game’s shortest-statured player, who’d returned to the team just hours before the game after a weeks-long absence due to an ongoing family situation. “We wanted another ball handler out there in case they trapped Nico,” Miller said, explaining why he put Hazzard into the game for the first time on the final play. “And, just, wow. Best call of my life.”

After Josh Green was unable to directly in-bounds the ball to a teammate, he flung it randomly downcourt to avoid a five-second call.

“That was a pretty stupid play I made,” said Green.

But it worked. Hazzard, coughing vehemently as he ran, was first to the ball. Without any resistance from the worried Texas Tech players, Hazzard calmly dribbled behind the three-point line, and, to the consternation of Texas Tech coach Matt Bell, licked all over the ball. (Asked for comments after the game, Bell said only, “I can’t even. I can’t.”)

Then Hazzard took the shot.

And missed.

No other player was willing to go after the ball, so the rebound was left to Hazzard, who still had plenty of time to shoot again. Which he did.

And missed, again.

Hazzard released his third and winning attempt just one second before the shot clock sounded.

“Am I sick?” he said after the game, grinning. “Sick at shooting, maybe.”

The first half was all Arizona. Zeke Nnaji bulldozed his way to a game high 34 points and 17 rebounds in the best statistical NCAA Tournament game ever by any Arizona player, and he was supported by the steady hands of Nico Mannion and Josh Green, both notching seven assists in the game against zero turnovers.

“We played sound basketball tonight in the first half, guys doing their thing, locking up on defense, making the right plays. But the second was rough. Ira sort of killed us,” Mannion admitted.

An accidental highlight came midway through the first-half when Arizona forward Ira Lee missed a left-handed windmill dunk. The ball bounced high into the air, and Green soared over Texas Tech player Davide Morretti, clearing him entirely, then snatching the ball and throwing it down.

“That play was a little better than his last pass,” Miller deadpanned.

It was Coach Bell’s shift to small ball in that second half that brought Texas Tech back into the game. Guards Morretti, Kyler Edwards, and Jahmi’us Ramsey pestered Arizona’s big men on the interior, causing a string of seven turnovers during a hectic four minute sequence late in the game, during which Texas Tech trimmed away all their deficit.

Also a talented freshman with NBA potential, Ramsey led Texas Tech with 22 points. “I thought we had it, I thought we had a chance,” he said. “Until that whack came in.”

It’s just the first round of the tournament, but Arizona’s heralded freshman trio is playing as advertised—and getting the kind of help that teams need for a deep March run.

“This,” Hazzard said, “is just the beginning.”

UP NEXT

Arizona plays No. 2 seed San Diego State on Saturday.

The Curious Case of Keith Hernandez and the best West Coast IPA

Today’s we woke up a little tired. We thought, What should we do?

Of course we didn’t ask ourselves–we’re trying to get away from ourselves, after. Enter The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™ .

So we asked again: What should we do?

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: Have a beer, friend!

We were like, okay, sure. We got dressed, walked down the bar, and sat down. So many taps anymore! We wondered – what beer, Keith?

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: Good question. What are the choices?

We reviewed the taplist, telling Keith our options: pilsner, stout, bourbon-barrel aged stout, gose, lager, sour, berlinerweisse, IPA, hazy IPA, session IPA, strong ale, red ale, brown ale, blonde.

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: What on earth are you saying? Am I in Prague??

We described the beers.

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: West Coast IPA.

This surprised us. We asked Keith if he was sure about this.

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: West Coast IPA.

Why the West Coast IPA, Keith?

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: Teddy Roosevelt DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE DRUNK WEST COAST IPAs.

Excuse us, Keith?

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: Listen. It’s rare that American produces something singular, distinct, not watered down—especially nowadays, with all these nambypambies. The West Coast IPA is the perfect hop expression, drawn basically from Cascade, Chinook, Columbus, and Centennial, the Four Cs of Hop. Everything else is either a fruity gimmick, or might as well be whiskey, or is quote-unquote “easy drinking.”

What about Hazy IPAs, Keith?

The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™: Ha! Hazy IPAs are the Fruity Pebbles to West Coast IPA’s plain Cheerios! The mai tai to a straight shot of dark rum! West Coast IPAs are the distilled madness of beermakers, while everything else is just madness: yes, they are unbalanced. But as you might know, I’m against balance, I myself am unbalanced. Listen: West Coast IPAs are our nation’s most difficult beer. Love them. Also I’m from Pacifica and I like saying IPA.

So: we present to you

THE BEST WEST COAST IPA tournament

as judged by The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™

(all tasting notes are actual Keith Hernandez quotes!)

Round 1

Ballast Point Sculpin (#1 seed) vs. Lagunitas IPA (#8)

Ballast Point Sculpin: They don’t like me too much in San Diego. Which reminds me—a grasshopper was going along, bothering nobody, and now…he’s all spiced up! What balance! What depth on that breaking ball! Uses the whole field—serious coin!

Lagunitas IPA: No hip rotation. Can I say this? It’s like kissing your sister.

Winner:

El Segundo Mayberry (#2) vs. Pizza Port Swami’s IPA (#7)

El Segundo Mayberry: You can hold the coffee—I’m wide awake now. This guy is built like a fire hydrant!

Pizza Port Swami’s IPA: El stinkaroni! You’re in for a tough night and a rough morning. Throw it in the nearest trash bin!

Winner:

Alpine Duet (#3) vs. Stone IPA (#6)

Alpine Duet: Is that a slight haze I detect? How much sugar they put in this thing? Me, I throw Tootsie Pops and make friends all over the place. I just don’t think this beer is well-executed. “I didn’t execute well” – I love that term. Gimme a whiskey, please!

Stone IPA: Well, we have a wild and wooly one! I smell something rotten in Denmark. It’s what’s behind it that’s ferocious—it stretches all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico. A scaldy dog there, let me tell you.

Winner:

Knee Deep Breaking Bud (#4) vs. Bear Republic Racer 5 (#5)

Knee Deep Breaking Bud: Has fluidity, like a rocking chair. Slight maltiness—more hoppy than bitter, a bit tropical, hints of melon. Very crisp—and I like them crisp.

Bear Republic Racer 5: What are you sending me, balsa wood? I feel like a marsupial with his pouch! This is a small storm. It’s going to pass quickly.

Winner:

Round 2

Semifinal 1: Ballast Point Sculpin (#1) vs. Stone IPA (#6)

Ballast Point Sculpin: If it was a linguist, it’d be Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady! Bring on the dancing bears!

Stone IPA: Another guy with his hat not straight! Oh, I just had a cramp in my hamstring. Sorry folks. Minor.

Winner:

Semifinal 2: El Segundo Mayberry (#2) vs Knee Deep Breaking Bud (#4)

El Segundo Mayberry: I’ve always loved pine tar. This stuff is inspiring within!

Knee Deep Breaking Bud: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get you. This guy’s a wiseacre. You gotta pound that thing down!

Winner:

Championship Round

Ballast Point Sculpin (#1) vs. El Segundo Mayberry (#2)

El Segundo Mayberry: Needs to pull that mask down a little bit and get some oxygen.

Ballast Point Sculpin: It’s like Caesar coming home in triumph.

Winner:

Ballast Point Sculpin

So there you have it folks: the best West Coast IPA according to The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™ is, perhaps, unsurprisingly, Ballast Point Sculpin. Get a bottle, get a can. Go to the Gaslamp District, take a boat ride in Long Beach. Find the West Coast. Find the beer. Sit back, channel your inner Keith Hernandez, sip, enjoy, exuding all the charm in all the world.

**Inputs into the The I’M KEITH HERNANDEZ Experience™ matrix include but are not limited to various facts about Keith Hernandez, eg that his father was a stern if loving authoritarian, he’s happy to take pictures with fans, his father and his older brother also played baseball but never made it past the minors, he’s been divorced twice and is not a womanizer but very much a woman-liker, his nickname is Mex though his blood is Spanish (and Scottish and Irish), he’s from northern California, he used to wear shoes 1.5 sizes too small because as he says they fit better, he loves the History Channel and red wine, especially together, he was a huge supporter of Carli Fiorina in 2016, he believes in fundamentals and intangibles, he definitely trusts the eye test more than advanced statistics, he loves crossword puzzles, he’s done his fair share of cocaine, he smoked in the dugout during baseball games, he resists authority, he has a sweet tooth especially for Tootsie Pops but he hates cotton candy, he is worth $15 million and would like to be worth much more, he likes the game Strat-o-Matic, and he lives with this guy: